Finding Your Way Back to Self-Worth

I’ve been thinking about worth a lot lately.

Not the kind that you can earn. Or that is bestowed upon you with a title or proposal. I’m thinking about the kind that lives deep inside you, and how I can tap into a well of my very own.

When I think back over much of my life and the decisions I made, I can see I believed deeply that I had to be chosen to matter. To be loved, or desirable, or worth it, I had to be chosen. That belief has shaped the way I show up in relationships, at work, and even for myself. I realized recently that I’ve given so much power and energy just hoping to be seen as enough in someone else’s eyes.

But not lately. Lately I’ve been doing the work to come home to myself. To stop all this looking for my worth outside of me and start rooting it in who I actually am. And I want you to know, if you’re on this journey too: I’m right there with you.

I know how hard it can be, especially after abuse, manipulation, betrayal. Those experiences can leave us feeling like we’re broken or undeserving of more.

When you don’t know your own worth, it’s harder to speak up for yourself. To leave unsafe situations. To even recognize that something is harmful, because deep down, you think maybe this is what you deserve.

But, I can assure you, it is not. And you deserve to know that your worth isn’t up for debate.

Sometimes we put our worth down because it feels easier to trade it for something else: a role, a relationship, a place where we think we’ll finally be safe or seen. But in doing that, we often accept less than we deserve because we’re trying to hold onto something that was never meant to define us in the first place.

I invite you to stop tying your worth up in all these places, and people, and external validation. Your worth can not live there.

5 ways to recognize and reclaim your self-worth

Your worth is in your laugh. It’s in the feeling of joy from doing the things you love.

Your worth is in the way you show up, even when you feel heavy or unseen.

Your worth is still there, even on your worst day. Even when you feel like a mess.

If this resonates with you, here are a few small ways I’ve been learning to reclaim my self-worth:

1. Speak to yourself with kindness.

Not just when you feel good, but especially when you don’t. Try saying things like, “I’m still worthy even when I feel low,” or “My value isn’t measured by how much I can give.”

2. Create a “Me” list.

Write down things that make you, you—your quirks, your talents, your joys. Not what you do for others, but what lights you up. Keep it somewhere visible.

3. Set a tiny boundary.

Just one. Say no to something that drains you. Speak up in a small way. Prove to yourself that you are worth protecting.

4. Reflect on who you were before you were told who to be.

What did you love as a child? What came naturally to you before the world tried to mold you?

5. Surround yourself with people who reflect your light back to you.

Even if it’s just one person. Healing happens in safe connection.

I’m still learning. Still unlearning. Still reminding myself every day that my worth is mine. It can’t be earned, taken, or lost.

And neither can yours.

Find Your Self-Worth With Support From &Rise

If you’re struggling to find your self-worth, know that you don’t have to take this journey alone. Many women like you are rediscovering their worth after difficult experiences—or finding it for the first time as adults. Hearing other women’s stories and being seen and heard can go a long way to help you feel grounded and confident in your self-worth.

At &Rise, we offer support groups, free counseling and events to help women trauma survivors find healing and connection. You may be interested in our groups focused on healing from different types of abuse or setting healthy boundaries.

The best way to stay in the loop with our community is signing up for our newsletter. We send out a weekly dose of inspiration along with updates on new groups and upcoming events.

Wishing you the best on your healing journey. You’re welcome to join us anytime!