The Impact of Childhood Sexual Assault
By Kelsey Hoff
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio
Childhood sexual assault (CSA) is a widespread issue that often goes unreported and unaddressed. Often when CSA is mentioned in the news, it’s being co-opted to target broad groups of people like immigrants or queer and trans people. The enormous amount of shame around this topic often gets in the way of conversations that could help prevent it from happening in the first place. This shame is also a reason why many sexual predators are never held accountable.
If you or a loved one experienced childhood sexual assault, you’re not alone. There is hope that you can find healing and peace. We host weekly support groups for sexual assault survivors. You can also reach the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) sexual assault hotline at 800-656-4673 or chat online at online.rainn.org.
There’s some variation in data from different studies, but an estimated 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 13 boys experience CSA.
In fiscal year 2023, 93.8% of individuals sentenced for sexual abuse were men. 55.4% were White, and 95.4% were United States citizens.
&Rise founder Jennifer Solarte has shared her childhood sexual assault experiences to help empower other survivors. April is Sexual Assault Awareness month, so I sent her some questions to help share what she has learned with our community.
Keep reading for a Q&A on childhood sexual assault with &Rise founder Jennifer Solarte:
What are some common experiences that survivors of CSA often share, as children and as adults?
Some common experiences that survivors of CSA share is a deep-rooted guilt and shame that our abuse was our own fault or that we did something to deserve it. Please know that these are very common sentiments amongst many survivors, but it is simply not true. Our abuse is never our fault — it is the fault of the abuser. It's important to change the narrative in our minds that we are to blame for something that someone else chose to do to us. Abuse is a choice; you either choose to abuse others or you choose not to.
Some other common experiences are becoming over sexual or the opposite of not wanting to be intimate with anyone. Low self-esteem and low self worth can also be a result of CSA. Another very common experience is difficulty with trust or intimacy, social isolation, and dissociation or emotional dysregulation. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and self-destructive behaviors can also be a result of CSA.
How does this type of abuse tend to affect families?
CSA affects families because it can cause a disruption in family dynamics such as a loss of trust, especially if the abuser is a family member or close to the family. Family members may also experience feelings of guilt and shame and parents may blame themselves for not protecting their child. CSA can create communication barriers which can make it hard for the victim to talk to family about their feelings — family members may also try to avoid discussing the abuse, which can lead to further isolation from the survivor. CSA can also lead to family conflict, which includes disagreements on how to handle the situation. Also, family members can experience secondary trauma, which can also develop symptoms similar to PTSD. They may have increased anxiety and fear for the survivor’s safety.
Are there effective ways to hold abusers accountable, and what does that usually entail?
It is always the survivor’s choice on whether they want to hold their abuser accountable or not. I personally believe in holding our abusers accountable because something that I have learned on my journey is the only people who benefit from our silence are our abusers/oppressors. Now, I also want to share how our justice system is extremely flawed when it comes to holding perpetrators accountable. Some of you may not know, but I lost my case against my father in December of 2024 for childhood sexual abuse because we didn't have enough burden of proof. The judge victim blamed me and the whole process was retraumatizing, so I want to forewarn those who do decide to hold their abusers accountable that it can take a large mental toll on you as it did for me. I don't say this to deter anyone from fighting against their abuser, but I want to note the very real and very unfair way that the legal system is set up. You can hold abusers accountable by sharing your story and telling your truth — no one can ever take your truth from you. They can try, but it's still your truth at the end of the day. You can also press charges, file a civil lawsuit, expose them publicly, etc.
What have been some of the major milestones or phases of your healing journey?
A huge milestone for me was finally coming to terms that my abuse wasn't my fault. I was taught by my mother and father to protect them. I always thought "what kind of a daughter would I be if I put my dad in jail? What kind of a daughter does that?" Upon a ton of inner work and reflection, I realized that those were never my own thoughts. That is what my parents taught me for their own benefit. I finally changed the narrative that "I was only 7 years old. What kind of a father touches his little girl?" That changed so much in me — I was finally able to give my father back all the guilt and shame I had felt basically my entire life. I am a huge believer in inner child work and my little Jenny was extremely sad and damaged. Through a lot of deep inner child work, I believe little Jenny finally feels happy and safe, and this was also a huge milestone for me in my journey.
What kinds of support have been most helpful to you?
Self-help books are what started my healing journey. Reading about how trauma affects the brain and the body has also been helpful. Meditation has been a game changer for my life as well. It helps me feel grounded and helps me to clear my thoughts. I wish I would have started years ago, honestly. The support groups have also been such an amazing support for me and continue to help me as I lead them and support others.
How can someone be an ally to a close friend or family member who has confided in you about their assault?
BELIEVE THEM! For the love of God, please believe survivors. It takes so much bravery to finally tell someone, and when they don't believe you, it can completely destroy you. Also, listen without judgement or even giving your opinion on the matter. Sometimes survivors have to tell someone to get it off their chest and aren't looking for advice or feedback. Another thing you can do is ask how you can support them. Then, I recommend that you spend some time on Google and educate yourself about assault and its effects to see how you can avoid stereotypes and saying the wrong things. I would also encourage them to seek professional help while being patient with them.
What kinds of resources are available to CSA survivors? How do you think our society could better serve them in the future?
There are so many wonderful nonprofits who help CSA survivors by providing services like counseling, support groups, legal advocacy, shelter and emergency shelter, etc. Visit our website Resource page to check out all the information we have about this topic.
What do you wish more people knew about CSA?
It doesn't just happen to girls. It happens to little boys, too, and the numbers are scary. I wish people knew that the justice system is literally set up to protect perpetrators and to only give them a slap on the wrist if they are an offender The judges and lawmakers are at the top of the issues because many of them are also perpetrators, hence why the laws are to protect their own and why many don't ever see a day in jail. I wish more people also knew that white men are the main offenders of sexual assault, even though the media always tells us it’s immigrants and minorities. I also wish more people knew how to talk to their kids about sex and inappropriate touching. If we took these simple steps and taught our kids better, we can prevent it from happening in the first place.
Give and receive support as part of the &Rise community
When people don’t get the help they need, childhood sexual assault can impact them long into adulthood. Each person’s healing journey will look a little different. If you’re just starting to unpack experiences like these, you don’t have to take the next steps on your own. We provide support groups, free counseling, and more for survivors of trauma and sexual abuse.
Our community couldn’t function without support from donors, sponsors, and volunteers. If you want to help, we can find a way to work together. Learn more about ways to help.
Survivors and allies are always welcome at &Rise. The best way to stay in the loop is subscribing to our newsletter. You can expect a weekly dose of empowerment, news about our support groups, and notifications for upcoming events.
